Last month I had the opportunity to attend the Pennsylvania Dairy Princess Coronation. It was probably the first time I attended the coronation in more than a decade, with family and farm weekend responsibilities often keeping me away. This year was special, though. The Harding family had organized a memorial fund in memory of their mother, Janet Harding Ruslavage, who was the long-time director of the princess program, which they established through our Dairy Excellence Foundation. We presented the first award in her memory to Cassandra (Casi) Long from Chester County during the competition. So, I wanted to be there to see her receive the award.
The minute I walked into the room I was taken back to more than 30 years ago when I was just an awkward, uncertain farm girl waiting for my turn to say my name over the microphone. The year I served as county princess wasn’t my first time at the state pageant because my two older sisters had been county dairy princesses before me. I remember getting to meet the state dairy princess the year my sister ran, and I wanted to be just like her.
Standing there waiting to be introduced all those years ago, all I could think about was how ready I was. I had practiced my skit probably a thousand times and spent hours working on my scrapbook. I made sure to shake the judges’ hands when I met them and had even bought a new dress suit to wear during the interview, the first I had ever owned. The truth was, up until that point, I had spent most of my time putting everything into 4-H, FFA, and field hockey, and being competitive had just become second nature to me. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to win.
But I didn’t win. In fact, I didn’t even come close. I got a couple of accolades for my skit but remember walking away that night feeling like my dreams just got crushed. What I didn’t realize at the time was how positively that experience and the dairy princess program in general would go on to impact my life. It was one of those times in life, when as the lyric goes, “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”
Like most farm girls, I had grown up helping on the farm. However, unlike my siblings, I never felt like I fit in there. I loved showing my 4-H cows but would have rather been anywhere but in the barn milking them. I wasn’t great with equipment either. I knew I loved to write, but didn’t have a clue what to do with that. The June before the pageant, I graduated from high school and enrolled in college, having no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.
It was the dairy princess program — both the training provided at the state level and the experiences I had as a county princess – that exposed me to all the different career options available in agriculture. It’s also the dairy princess program that pushed me out of my comfort zone and provided me with the confidence to figure out what skillsets I did have and how I could use them in a future career. I always wonder how many of those county princesses on that stage are in the same place I was so long ago — not sure what they want to do and not knowing where to go next.
Often, as an industry, we spend too much time pushing our next generation to win – to be first in that spring calf class, that showmanship contest, the FFA Creed competition, the dairy judging competition, and so on. We sometimes forget to remind them that, while winning is great, it is what they learn through the experience that will stay with them throughout their lives.
Someone who competes in dairy judging spends months visiting other dairy farms and learning about how to evaluate dairy cows. Someday those skills will help them become a better herd manager, or even just better at decision making in general. Someone who competes in a public speaking contest develops writing skills and learns how to present their idea. Those are valuable skills in any profession. As dairy princess, I wrote articles, shared samples at grocery stores, spoke at industry meetings, and taught school-age children about dairy. In every one of those experiences, I developed a different life skill that helped shape me into the person I am today.
In accepting her award, Casi, a former dairy princess herself, ended her remarks with this advice for the girls on the stage. “No matter where your story starts, you are in charge of where it goes, and you can do anything you put your mind to.” I hope every single one of them really listened to her comments because the dairy princess program can do so much to help them move forward in that journey, if they just try to take advantage of all it has to offer. It is really one of those gems we have within our Pennsylvania dairy industry, thanks in part to the legacy left by Jan Harding Ruslavage.
Looking back, I may have not gotten what I wanted on that stage 30+ years ago. But I got what I needed. And I am so grateful for that experience.
Editor’s Note: This column is written by Jayne Sebright, executive director for the Center for Dairy Excellence.